Totally Free and Totally Crappy E-Cards privacy policy:

1. We will not sell your info. (Unless it's for a damn good price.)

2. We will not send you spam. (However, we will send you 'neat useless offers'!)

3. Some of our sites contain links to other sites whose information practices may be different than ours. We have no control over information collected by these third parties. However, for your peace of mind, we should state that we have yet to encounter a third-party site with security standards lower than ours!

4. We may disclose personally identifiable information in response to legal process, or in response to a law enforcement agency's request. Or maybe in response to someone who just calls up out of the blue and says: “got any hot dirt on ‘so-and-so’”.

5. It is important to remember that the information we collect provides for an interactive experience. We send you e-mail offers you don’t want, and you e-mail back, asking us to stop, and to remove your name from our e-mail lists. This is about as interactive as you can find anywhere on the web! And the fact that we rarely pay attention to those “remove my name” requests, make it even more interactive for you as your e-mails for us to stop get more and more hostile!

6. We have sophisticated electronic safeguards to prevent unauthorized access to your personal data. We use a super secret security password that no one would think of willy-nilly. As a matter of fact, that is our super secret password: willy-nilly! Who would ever think of using willy-nilly as a password to get at the trillions of personal facts we have on file in our data banks? Probably no one! And for added security, we alternate our willy-nilly password every month, with another obscure password: willy-nilly 1.

7. Although we take appropriate measures to safeguard against unauthorized disclosures of information, we cannot assure you that our safeguards actually do anything to protect you. However, we do use the words “WARNING! PRIVATE FILES!” somewhere on our data base, which should deter most hackers, 3 years old and younger, from invading your privacy files.

8. We may alter our privacy policy at our whim, but not at yours.

10. Our ability to number items correctly is better than our ability to actually protect your privacy!

Allan Anonymous,

CEO, TFTCE-C, LLC.